J-Bug

First I like the concept. I think you could have improved this photo by turning her hips a bit so the weren't square with the camera. Do be afraid to use flash and light her up. I'm always a little careful using short lenses with women because they can really distort parts of the body.

Her left hand is just kind of there. Maybe pulling at the bottom of her dress, try to get her to interact with the lens. Turn her eyes up towards you in a playful manner. Ask yourself this. Why is she standing there doing that?

Ok I love the location. Play around with different crops on this. Remember your leading lines and your rule of thirds. The pipes are going to drag the viewers eyes out of the frame. I hope this helped a little. I see a lot of potential in that place.

Tim